Adult Supervision

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I left home at 18, which was the norm back then. You completed your higher education or apprenticeship, got a job and left home pronto. Only the gifted few went to University and stayed with a foot in both camps, not fully moving out until in their mid-20’s.

I met husband when I was 36 meaning that I had 18 years living by myself apart from 2 brief spells when I played house with patently unsuitable men and a glorious couple of years living with some amazing girlfriends. Rest of the time I was an adept singleton, nothing untoward happened and the creases which make up life’s rich pattern got ironed out rapidly and with little fuss.

A truly independent modern woman, that was the persona I fashioned for myself, and even after meeting husband I managed to maintain a lifestyle that told would make any Cosmo reader proud.

Lately though every time husband travels on business leaving me alone, the fickle finger of fate slaps me around the chops making me look inadequate and wanting, those tiny creases in life now appear rapidly bunching and my explanations are prefaced with “it wasn’t my fault” like an indolent teenager. In the past 6 months I have:-

  • Lost the dog in the New Forest. Husband’s number was on her tag and nobody especially me, wants to start a conversation with “Don’t be furious, I’ve lost the dog but someone has found her, so please pick-up all numbers calling you” he was in South Africa at the time and had only been gone 24 hours – not impressed. Nett result dog recovered by some kind people and collected 90 very long, worrying minutes later.

  • Fallen in the fish pond, after losing my balance on an edging tile resulting in multiple bruises, frog spawn and slimy pond weed; took 4 days to shower the smell off.

  • Been responsible for getting the dog poisoned, she ran off for 2 minutes whereupon she found some rubbish and ate it resulting in an SOS vet visit on a Sunday afternoon

  • Dislodged the crown on my front tooth from recklessly eating a toffee. Only after a lot of persuasion would the terrifying Russian receptionist accept that this WAS a dental emergency, coupled with the fact I was holding aforementioned incisor in front of her face.

  • Contracted flu, had allergic reaction to the medication and passed flat-out in Morrisons, came to with someone waving a bag of lettuce over my face, could have been worse – could have been a stinky kipper.

Having been together for over 12 years he is used to my moments of lunacy and outlandish behaviour but has never doubted my self-sufficient ways, in fact I like to think that my independent stance is one of the things that attracted him to me in the first place. And to the best of my knowledge he has never been scared, until recently, of receiving a phone call from me whilst away. I heard him chatting to my Mum the other night discussing his two-week trip to Sweden. Whilst I don’t want to be accused of ear wigging I think he was trying to her convince to come and spend the fortnight with me.

48 and he has arranged a baby sitter, it’s for my own safety ….

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/36217762@N00/25633134671″>don’t give me a hand, just be with me</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

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