Why I can’t wear scarves

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I am a big fan of scarves, but from here on I have forsaken them.  I have a cupboard full of them, the lovely colours, patterns and floaty fabrics that keep you warm and cheer you up instantly.  Wrap a scarf around your neck and it’s like being caressed by a smile rather than popping your head in a noose.  I love their chic appeal, bringing a whole outfit together, one simple accessory that coalesces shoes to the jacket to the handbag, simply divine.

 

 This was however until I looked into the mirror last Monday to admire the complimentary effect the white tulle scarf with tiny black strawberries had on the day’s outfit when I realized I had made a terrible mistake.

It did not unite my outfit with a flourish of sartorial elegance it simply disconnected my middle aged head from the rest of my body, highlighting the bags under my eyes and bringing into the spotlight the crows feet and burgeoning jowls.  My disembodied head did me no favours it simply gave prominence to the fact that I was aging and saggy.  It seems like every week there is another part of my body that is slowly sliding ground-wards, melting and morphing like a dinner candle at the end of a very long evening.  If I carry on like this, my arse will be at my ankles by August.

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Why is gravity such a git? My treacherous scarf instead of disguising this inevitable ageing it cruelly accentuated every facet of it. This Saturday I will be hot footing it to my local PDSA charity shop to deposit the scarves for a worthy cause and I will spend the foreseeable future being bloody cold rather than looking like a stout sagging dowager.

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/93965477@N02/24576982323″>Ribbed Cowl Neck Sweater in Grey by Tommy Hilfiger – Shoots Official – 2015/2016 Fashion – Photographed by Jason Hargrove – #shootsOfficial</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/77654185@N07/15169144055″>Does anyone in the US know how to “pull off” a scarf?</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

 

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