The Great British Holiday

The Lake District – Day 1

We have just taken out my furry friends out to make wees at 10.20pm, it is still light.  Not, get your book and sit on a lounger light but no need for a torch with dusk hovering in the near distance.

Day 2

This morning they woke us to go out and again it was light.  Dutifully I pulled on a jersey, lassoed them up and took them out to do their business.  On getting back to the cottage I checked my watch – 4.37am!  The last time I saw 4.37 I was coming home from a long night out and even then it wasn’t light.  Does the sun never set in the Lake District?  Yesterday as we drove up hill and across fell we joked that we could be in Mordor looking at this dramatic and slightly sinister landscape; now I’m not so sure it was a joke, as if we’ve travelled to a parallel universe and it only took 6 hours in a Kia.

Day 3

This holiday is the first time we have taken the girls, and it comes with own set of pros and cons.  Whilst it’s lovely having them around and stops those sighs of ‘wonder how they are’ it does mean that we are unable to eat out at restaurants and enjoy long boozy suppers.  We are confined to more progressive tea rooms and pubs.  However they were the perfect foil for husband not being able to wonder around the Beatrix Potter exhibition and likewise have saved me from being dragged into every outdoor shop the Lake District has to offer.  You do however have to consider their routines when away and whilst they seem quite settled in their new house both are suffering from holiday constipation.  As a sufferer myself I can sympathise, I didn’t think that leaving the familiarity of their own tried and tested walking routes would create such an affliction, I was wrong.  Today husband and I have walked the girls up and down the fells in the pouring rain trying to spur on a poop.   Fellow dog owners will understand that you take great interest in your dog’s bowel movements and have no compunction in discussing them with not only your partner but any fellow dog walker and I would have used today to gather some useful research material.  However on the fells there were no walkers to share the constipation with, only one very wet, bad tempered husband.

lake district rain

Day 4

I never thought I would be lighting log fires every evening on my holiday, did I tell you this is my summer holiday.  All I can think is that when the sun shines this must be God’s own country, day 4 and I’ve yet to see it.  Today the rain has followed us relentlessly, wherever we drove, the rain followed like a wet stalker. We have spent more time in the car parks than the parks themselves, but what’s a UK holiday without doing a crossword in the car with the rain beating down.  I know now why I have eschewed English holidays previously in favour of hotter climes, the meteorological unpredictability.

Day 5

Hallelujah the sun is shining!  We scurry outside to feel the sun on our faces and muzzles.  The girls go crazy charging up and down the track unencumbered by sideways travelling train.  We bundle in  the car and  go sight-seeing.  As suspected when the sun shines it is truly spectacular and we are in awe of the aquamarine lakes, and rich emerald forestry that surround them.  We spend the entire day travelling to lakes and parks, each one outdoing the previous for its beauty and enchantment.  We arrive back 12 hours later, exhausted, exhilarated and desperate for a lie down.

lake district sun

Day 6

Woken by the rain drumming on the roof and a dog grizzling to go outside in the drencher.  I clamber into wellies and my waterproof when the dog decides that the holiday constipation issues are over with explosive style.  Rain is running down my back and both dog and I are looking pretty unimpressed with the mornings proceedings.  And whilst the dog continues to off load  and looks apologetically at me, I get wetter and colder and understand why for 30 years I have eschewed the beautiful British Isles for sunnier climes.

After what feels like an age the dog and I paddle back to the cottage and within 10 minutes I’ve booked next year’s holiday – 10 days in Sardinia, expected average temperate 32 degrees; Lake District you are truly magnificent but I need sun!

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