Decolletage Decorum and the Question of Cleavage

jessica rabbit
The greatest enhanced cleavage, she’s not bad she’s just drawn that way


The Christmas party season is well and truly upon us and so the party wardrobes are out along with a lot of naked flesh, which is odd considering for us residents of the Northern hemisphere it’s the coldest time of the year and yet this is when we choose to wear the least.

Last week husband and I were invited to a society black tie dinner and apart from the host we didn’t know anyone at our table.  Gazing across the ballroom I looked out upon  a rainbow of chiffon, organza and sequins gliding across the floor not dissimilar from the set of a 1940’s movie.

Then, from across the room sashayed a dress like no other, it was a black halter neck slashed to the navel just about covering the most perfect pair of breasts I had ever seen, completely transfixed by the sight of them coming towards me static and stupendous, I was staring and I knew it.  I turned to say something to husband only to find him also mesmerised,  mouth slightly ajar and head at a slight angle giving him the disturbing look of a stroke victim.  He mumbled something that sounded like ‘Christ Almighty’ in the reverential tones of a man communing with his maker and he had lost the ability to blink with eyes fixated on breasts that were growing larger as they came ever closer.  Flippantly I turned to our host and said ‘blimey she’ll have someone’s eye out with those’ just as he leapt up to greet her, as luck would have it she was seated at our table!   Her boobs were perfectly matched to her personality; extrovert, perky with plenty of attitude – she was a very welcome addition to the table and great company. If only I could have looked her in the face, I spent the whole evening behaving like a lecherous git.

Cleavage 3

But here’s the question, is it acceptable to compliment someone on their boobs – woman to woman? Especially if they are quite obviously not the ones she was born with?  Let’s be honest when we spend excessively on shoes, handbag or a dress we do so in the hope that it will be admired and therefore validate the exchange of massive cash for said items.  Is it the same with boobs?  If you can see  that a few thousand pounds have been forked out shouldn’t you being able to applaud your fellow sister on the workmanship and effort undertaken to acquire them, or do we play dumb and pretend we didn’t notice?

Would it be OK to say when greeting someone ‘fantastic shoes, and those boobs are to die for’ or ‘great dress and love what you’ve done with your boobs.’

It’s hard to ignore these magnificent mammaries so prominently on display at this time of year already I am starting to think that the pneumatic bosom is the Christmas must have accessory and not the brocade boots I have invested in – what was I thinking, duh.

brocade boots
I totally misjudged this seasons favourite fashion item

Suffering from seasonal bosom envy I’ve purchased some very sturdy balconette bras and whilst I won’t be taking anyone’s eye out I may do your chin some damage!

If anyone can help with silicone etiquette protocol please let me know.


4 thoughts on “Decolletage Decorum and the Question of Cleavage

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