Vegas Baby … it’s batshit crazy

Vegas 2

If you’re looking for sympathy, don’t come to Vegas.  Instead of a comforting arm around your shoulders she will give you a licentious hug and take your wallet from your pocket.  She comes snapping and snarling at your heels waiting for you to be lulled into an appropriate state of awe by the sparkling lights and night-time sights and then delivers a devastating killer punch to your bank account.

Let me count the ways of how I can be parted from my money

She’s cheap, tawdry and vulgar.  Hard-assed and calculating, she wasn’t conceived for your pleasure but her own …. how very un-pc!

frozen margherita tubes
Frozen margaritas Vegas style – one size only!

It’s Vegas and Normal Rules Don’t Apply

  • Walk down the strip drinking a tube of frozen margarita at 10am – no problem
  • Topless nun touting to have her photo taken with you for the small sum of only $20 – go right ahead.  I have to add this wasn’t a real nun, or at least I hope not – what a way to collect for the local orphanage!
  • 6ft Transvestite on 8 inch heels wheeling a giant suitcase in one hand and a miniature Yorkshire terrier in the other – nothing to see here
  • Heroin addict picking at imaginary fleas on his legs and howling at the sun – OK, that raised an eyebrow, but only mine.  Everyone else walked past the spectacle of this troubled young man without a second glance

The Lady is a Tramp

The whole city is unashamedly obsessed with excess; eye-popping flower displays, multi-million works of art dotted around the hotels, acres of marble walls, intricate mosaic floors, gondola rides in the desert – everything in praise of the mighty dollar.  If you have it you want more, if you don’t have it you gotta get it.  A place where pleasure seekers and fortune hunters jostle side by side all looking for that one perfect evening they’ll remember forever, the one where they had the world/hooker (delete as appropriate) in the palm of their hand. A city where hedonism and narcissism converge, a potent combination of self-love and zero accountability.

Uber have upped their game …

I was given a flyer promising ‘Hot-assed escorts delivered to your room in 20 minutes’, I wanted to ask if they weren’t hot did you get them for free but husband wouldn’t let me.  Prostitutes Deliveroo style, whatever next?

If New York is the city that doesn’t sleep, Vegas is the chronic insomniac who has gone on a cocaine binge.

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Nightly exploding volcanoes, dancing fountains,  gondola rides, roller coasters going through hotels, there isn’t a show Vegas cannot perform.  With iconic world landmarks dotted along the strip it’s not hard to dive right in and get swept along with the craziness that is synonymous with Vegas.  Strap yourself in, it’s a bumpy ride and warn the bank  that an unexpected overdraught is coming your way.

We went with no expectations, we were looking to have fun – we got it in spades.


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